2017 Reflection: Boundaries and Limits

2017 reflections | Kale and Ale2017 has pushed many of us to limits and boundaries beyond what we felt comfortable with, imagined or would want on anyone. In the past year I’ve grown a lot and had the courage to push myself in many ways.

Everything from the Women’s March to #MeToo has put female voices in the spotlight in 2017, for better or worse. In both my work and personal lives, I’ve found my limits and spoken up for my boundaries this year. I realize I can’t do, get or change it all, and that’s OK. What I can do is speak up for my beliefs, perspective, expectations and feelings, explaining to people how and why I feel, and vocalizing my self-worth.

While I haven’t gotten action or resolve on everything I’ve spoken up for this year, I am empowered knowing I stood up for myself and let those around me know my feelings and desires. I feel a lot stronger having expressed my expectations to those around me, from asking for my worth at work to letting friends know when they are asking too much to explaining to my family that I need to step back for mental health reasons.

Tips for Speaking Up

This year I’ve picked up some tips by becoming more vocal about my boundaries, limits and expectations. (Let me know what you would add in the comments.)

  • Nobody will look out for you as much as you will yourself, and nobody will know exactly what you are thinking unless you tell them.
  • Practice or take notes about what you might say in a given conversation or want to discuss.
  • Start small. It gets easier over time to speak up, but it does take practice and self confidence.
  • Don’t be mean (that’s where having notes or practice helps).
  • Determine what your outcome or main point is before, and stay on topic.
  • Think about what the outcome (or lack of one) would be by not speaking. Use that as your motivation to stay firm.

Growing my Voice

It’s been a difficult year for me for many reasons, and it’s been hard to blog, so I appreciate you sticking with me. I hope to grow my voice in 2018. I would love to use it to help further myself and those who might not have as strong a voice as I have.

Please feel free to share in the comments how you have found or used your voice this year.

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